Canadian Idol Odds-Making
Shut up. This is my blog and I can post what I want to.
Now that Mark Day is finally eliminated we can get down to serious business. Mark clearly has a career ahead of him as a younger, more Newfoundlandish, Louie Anderson. He could totally host Family Feud. But he was never going to win this competition. So let’s look at who’s left, in alphabetical order:
Mitch Macdonald – Port Hood, NS: Part of the crushing “tall jocky white guy crew” that makes up way too much of the top 10 this season. His cover of “Jealous Guy” was legitimately good, but maybe only because it reminded everyone of the John Lennon song so much and they were like “Man, John Lennon had some great songs.” Odds of winning: 5-1 Why: Not exactly a stand-out look.
Mookie Morris – Toronto, ON: I saw my first real, live “Vote Mookie” lawn sign the other day. In Cabbagetown. It was weird. Mooke is not his real name and he is incredibly young and seemingly incapable of actually holding a conversation, but he manages to make himself stand out every week. Probably the favourite at the moment. Odds of winning: 2-1 Why: Lawn sign support, distinctive look, has Toronto behind him, even if Toronto is generally too cool to pay attention to reality-show singing competitions.
Earl Stevenson – Lloydminster, AB: Part of the same “Tall jocky white guy crew.” Note that I saw ‘jocky’ to mean that they are not unlike athletic people in high school. I do not know mean that they are all short and race horses. I think most of Earl’s song choices are boring as hell (“Change the World”? Lame!) so he will hopefully be eliminated next. Odds of winning: 8-1 Why: Dull. And from Alberta.
Theo Tams – Lethbridge, AB: Sang a fucking Joss Stone song. He has no chance at all. And what a stupid name. Theodore Tams? What are you, a goddamned Marvel comics supervillain? You’d be like the Tinkerer or something, it’s so lame. Odds of winning: 1000-1 Why: Thinks Joss Stone covers are totally cool.
Amberly Thiessen – Seven Persons, AB: The last female in, because Canada doesn’t discriminate based on gender. Or maybe we do. I’m not really sure. Fun fact: was born, like, the year before Saved by the Bell debuted thus her name being similar to Tiffani-Amber Thiessen’s name is entirely coincidental. I like her, but she’s not quite unique enough to win. Has sort of an awkward quality on stage. Odds of winning: 3-1 Why: Being the last girl will take her far, maybe even the top two, but not far enough to win.
Drew Wright – Collingwood, ON: The last member of the “Tall jocky white guy crew.” He probably has the best prospects of the lot of them, because he does some cool songs and I thought his cover of “Creep” was great. Plus he has a good rockstar name. And the whole town of Collingwood behind him, I guess. And I can tell you from personal experience — those assholes are crazy. Odds of winning: 4-1 Why: A bit too indistinctive to make him a favourite, but could be a darkhorse contender to win.
Conclusion
Things you may have noticed from reading this: I have no real idea how to make odds for things! It may be because I am not a gambling man. The only thing I have ever gambled on is my friend Rory’s ability to eat seven Caesar Salads in one sitting. I won that one. Also, I don’t really watch Canadian Idol that closely. It’s entirely passive television, perfect for doing laundry or reading wikipedia articles. You may judge me for it, but I stand proud and defend my choices. At least I’m not watching “America’s Best Dog” or “Big Brother”. Yet.